By Fr Kelvin Ugwu MSP Of Facebook Television
Many of my friends have asked me to write about masturbation.
I remembered how I started writing about it. I wrote the first paragraph. . . I deleted it. I wrote another, I deleted. I kept writing and deleting.
It was as if I simply did not know what to write. Or, I knew but don’t know how best to express it since it is such a sensitive topic.
Just few weeks ago, I was just going through my inbox messages, then I saw this message from a friend. After reading what he wrote. . .I felt again the urge to write about this topic.
This friend poured his heart out. He said he just needed someone to talk to. He said he is dying, that he masturbates countless times in a day.
He said a lot of things, how he tried to stop it many times but couldn’t. . . How he feels so useless anytime he finish masturbating even though it will still not stop him from doing it again. Then, he told me how he went to church and the preaching was about those that masturbate.
He told me how the minister kept referring to Onan in the Bible. How those who masturbate are suffering from the spirit of Onan and in no time, the way Onan was struck dead by God, so also will they be.
He sounded so scared.
Well, I know the story of Onan, you can find it in Genesis 38: 3-10.
Onan was a man whom in keeping with tradition had to take in Tamar as his. Tamar was the wife of Onan’s late brother. His late brother died without having any child with Tamar, and so following the custom and law already stipulated in Deuteronomy 25:5-10, Onan had the responsibility of sleeping with Tamar while the children she will bear will be considered as the children of his late brother.
That did not go down well with Onan. So as Onan slept with Tamar, at the point of every ejaculation, he will slip out of Tamar and spill his semen outside her. . . This is what is taught today in family planning as withdrawal method. . .An immediate example that comes to mind is the love story of Daphne and Simon in the TV series called Bridgeton.
“But Onan, knowing that the line would not count as his, spilt his seed on the ground every time he slept with his brother’s wife, to avoid providing offspring for his brother.”
According to the Bible, Onan was killed by God for doing what he did.
And so when people use the story these days, they assert that to ejaculate or to spill one’s semen outside of the woman is sin and God will strike the person dead. That was how masturbation came into the picture.
But again, if spilling of semen is the reason masturbation is sinful, what happens to women who masturbate but don’t have any semen to spill?
What happens to men who, for no fault of theirs, wake up with wet boxers due to nocturnal emmission or what is popularly called wet dreams?
So, the story of Onan does not address the issue of masturbation and added to that, the threat of death is not the God of the new Convenant.
For all those struggling with masturbation, you will remember how it all started. For most, it started with simple stimulation or touching of self. Then you read some half truth from science or psychology books where it was said that it is healthy to masturbate once in a while.
But now, you have moved from once in awhile to always. You have also added pornography to the list of addiction because masturbation and pornography are 5&6. More than anything, you now prefer the nude pictures of whomever you are dating more than the real person.
And that is the problem with masturbation: people are used as objects for satisfaction. Peoples’ bodies are fantasied. Then the sex act is reduced to mere pleasure, though a selfish one. And many who are addicted still find it difficult to get over it even in marriage despite having their wives/husbands sleeping next to them on the same bed.
To this, I leave this post open for discussion. Let us talk heart to heart. Nothing to be shy about. . . You can be of help to someone by sharing how they can overcome their struggles on masturbation in line with our Christian faith. If you have a personal experience on it, or experience of someone’s experience, it will be more helpful and you might just to uplifting someone.
Please be kind with your words.
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